#105. Saying No Without the Spiral
You love your work. You love helping your clients, your team, your families. But the moment someone asks for "just one more favor," you feel it: the tight shoulders, the instant swirl of guilt, and the frantic mental gymnastics of how you might make it work. If you've ever said yes when you wanted to say no, you're not alone. In this post, we're talking about how to say no—clearly and kindly—without spiraling into guilt and over-explaining.
Why Saying No Feels So Hard (Especially for SLPs)
Let’s be honest: many of us are people pleasers. We’ve been conditioned to believe that saying yes equals being a good employee, a good coworker, and even a good human. Early on, we learn that accommodating others earns us praise and approval.
In our field, this gets magnified. The more flexible we are, the more we’re seen as team players. The problem? Constant flexibility often comes at the expense of our own peace and sanity.
One of my coaching clients recently shared how quickly she agreed to take on an eval before even thinking through whether she had the time. She said yes out of pure habit, only to later feel overwhelmed and frustrated with herself.
The Cost of the Automatic Yes
When you default to yes, you’re often saying no to something else: your family, your health, your downtime, or your peace of mind. Saying yes to everything isn’t leadership. It’s self-neglect. And over time, it fuels resentment, burnout, and frustration.
The Power of the Pause
One of the simplest (but most effective) strategies I teach in coaching is what I call The Power of the Pause.
Before you respond to any request, simply pause. Take a breath. Even a few seconds creates enough space to check in with yourself:
Do I want to say yes?
Can I realistically take this on?
What will I be sacrificing if I say yes?
This tiny pause gives you back control over your decision-making instead of reacting on autopilot.
Scripts to Say No (Without the Spiral)
I know that simply saying "no" can feel impossible. So here are a few ways to say no clearly, kindly, and with confidence:
"I understand the need, but I’m not available to take that on right now."
"That won’t work with my schedule, but I hope you’re able to find someone who can help."
"I can’t fit that in right now, but here’s an option that might help you."
Notice that none of these requires you to over-explain, apologize excessively, or backtrack. They are clear, kind, and firm.
Your Energy Is Worth Protecting
The hardest part? What happens after you say no. That’s where your brain wants to swirl in guilt and doubt.
This is where mindset work comes in:
Someone else’s disappointment is not your responsibility.
Your worth isn’t measured by how much you take on.
Protecting your energy doesn’t make you less of an SLP. It makes you a better one.
Saying no is a skill. Feeling confident after you say no is also a skill. Both can be built over time.
This Is Exactly What We Work On In Coaching
If this resonates with you, you don’t need more willpower…you need support, tools, and practice. This is exactly what we work on inside coaching sessions.
Together, we help you untangle your automatic yeses and build boundaries you feel good about.
Book a free consult, and let’s talk about how you can create a work-life blend that includes you.