#16. The 5 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Time Management
Episode Shownotes:
Today’s episode is a little dose of tough love for those of us (myself included!) who need to hear it. Over the past several years, I’ve started becoming more aware of the lies that we tell ourselves when it comes to managing our time and how those lies keep us stuck. Today I’m sharing the five most common misconceptions we have about time management and what they tell us about where we’re at in our productivity journey.
This episode is designed to challenge your understanding of productivity and unmask the dangers of the "just getting through the day" mindset that might be keeping you from engaging with what truly matters.
And in case you haven’t heard, I'm hosting a one-day planning event on October 27th, 2023, that you DON'T want to miss! I'm going to be teaching you my simple annual planning process and we're going to start mapping out your 2024 calendar together. Click here and I'll let you know when you can sign up!
Are you sick and tired of feeling overwhelmed by all the things? I can help. Schedule a free consult today to learn about how I can help you take back control of your time.
Come join the FB Group SLP Support Group for more tips and tricks!
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Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.
Episode Transcript*:
This is Your Speech Path: Mindful Time Management for the Busy SLP. My name is Theresa Harp and, as a mom and speech pathologist turned productivity coach, I know a thing or two about how hectic life can be. If you're an SLP who's overworked, burnt out and feeling like you're constantly falling short as a therapist and a mom, then this is the podcast for you. I cover time management and mindset strategies so you can learn to love your work and your home life at the same time. Let's dive in.
Hey there, SLPs, how's it going? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. It is a Thursday morning, as I'm recording episodes and the house is quiet and I have a little bit of time to think clearly, and I wanted to spend it recording some podcast episodes. I've also been busy working on a planning event that's happening at the end of this month. If you're listening to this podcast when it's released, the planning event is happening on Friday, October 27th, and I'm so excited for it because it is a great way to get a jump on your goals for 2024 before all of the craziness happens of the holiday season. I'm just really excited, too, to share my process, the way I schedule things and plan things, and to help all of you identify ways that you can take that same process and make some modifications to fit your brain, your learning style and get a jump on what you're going to be focusing on next year. If you want more information about that event, click the link in the show notes and I'll give you all the details.
Today I am talking about the top misconceptions or lies that we tell ourselves when it comes to time management. Honestly, I could think of a number of these. I did think of a number. I thought of five for today, but I could think of many more. These were the ones. These five that I'm going to share today are the ones that are, I think, most frequently occurring with the clients that I work with and also just in my own life, things that I've had to face and sort of dismantle, so to speak, in order to become more in control of my time. So that's what we're talking about today. I'm very curious what you all think about these, because I got to be honest, I think some of them might bring up some resistance or tension when you hear them. You might even find yourself getting a little bit defensive, maybe. So I'm very curious what's going to come up for you as you hear these and would invite you to join—pop in—join the Facebook group the SLP Support Group, free Facebook group, where I will be talking about a lot of these and other time management related topics and concepts with other SLPs. So the link for the Facebook group is also in the show notes so you can go ahead and check that out. But I want to share these five lies and unpack them a bit. In today's episode I'm totally using that phrase unpack them, because it's something I cannot say with, or I can't not laugh when I hear people say that phrase. I don't know why, but for whatever reason, I always think it's funny. So here I am using it sort of tongue in cheek but yeah, let's dive in, let's unpack it.
So the first misconception or lie that we tell ourselves when it comes to our time is “I don't have time for that.” I don't have time for that. How many times, no pun intended, how many times have you caught yourself saying that or thinking that?My brain offers me that thought a lot. Not as much as it used to, but it still offers me that thought a lot. And it is really this belief that we don't have time in our day, time in our calendar to spend doing something, and the reason why this lie is problematic is because it keeps us from spending time on things that are actually important to us, or spending time on things that we would enjoy, or spending time on things that would help us grow and develop, whether it's personal development or business development or whatever comes up for you but it keeps us in this place of being passengers in our day, in our lives, really, and that is, quite frankly, not true. Okay, it's just, it's balogna, it's bogus. Trying not to curse. So I'll give you some examples of how this might show up for you, and then we'll talk about some tips or strategies of how you might be able to work through this. So you might find yourself thinking this or saying this when it comes to things like taking a break, taking a day off, taking a lunch break, like pausing to eat your lunch, I don't have time for that, don't have time for lunch. Nope, not happening today. Or leaving early, or canceling a session with a family, or rescheduling a session because you need to go do something: “Oh no, I actually can't do that. I don't have time for that. I have to see this client. I have to see this patient at this time.” Okay, so this might show up for you in terms of doing some of your tasks that we, as SLPs, have to spend our time on, right? So things like writing an evaluation report, doing our soap notes or our session notes, planning for a session, going to a workshop or a continuing ed event: “I don't have time for that. I would love to research, you know, treatment strategies for XYZ diagnosis, XYZ population, but I don't have time for that.”
So those are some examples of the way that they've shown up for me and the way that they've shown up for clients that I work with and coaching and colleagues and all of that. Right. So think about what this looks like for you. Start paying attention to when your brain offers you that thought or when you find yourself saying those words. I don't have time for that, and the reality of the situation is that we do all have the same amount of time in the day, right? You've heard this before and I'll be honest, I, while I recognize there is truth and here I am telling you this truth, right, we all have the same amount of time in the day. I don't always like when people say that, because I think they use it against themselves. I think they use it against other people…like they use it against…”Well, we all have the same amount of time, so I should be able to get this done,” right, and you just use that against yourself and to make you feel guilty or make you feel ashamed or inadequate, whatever it might be, right? So I say this—we all have the same amount of time—purely for fact-based reasons, okay, and in a way to empower you because we do all have the same amount of time. We don't, however, all have the same amount of resources or the same type of resources. We don't all have the same brain. We don't all think the same way, right, we don't all have the same what I will call non-negotiables. You know the things that are on your plate that you mostly have to do I'm putting in air quotes but the things that you have to do if you don't do them that they're going to be, you know cause issues, right. So, like for me, for example, I do have to get my kids to school every day. If I, technically it's a choice, right, I could choose not to get them there, but if I did, I'd either have to find another way to get them there, or I would have to keep them home, and what are the repercussions of that? Right? So it sounds a little bit silly, but what I'm saying is that there are some things on our schedules that we really do have to do, because if we don't do them, there will be significant negative consequences, and those things are going to vary from person to person, right? So, in theory, we do all have the same amount of time, and I am acknowledging that we don't all have the same resources. We don't all have the same brain and we don't all have the same non-negotiables, the same have tos, okay, but I share that so that you understand that we can be realistic. We can be, we can use common sense when we think about this and we talk about this, and we can still question the thought of I don't have time for that. I want you to think about and identify when you find yourself thinking that or saying that and challenge it because, like I said, we do all have this a certain amount of time, right, we all have 24 hours and you do get to decide what you're spending your time on, and so if you want to have the time for that, you can, in theory, take the time for that right. How might that be true for you? What is the thing or what are the things that you're saying you don't have time for, and how can you actually take the time for them? Because the time is there. You might just need to reallocate it, you might need to reassign it, you might need to take something else off your plate okay, but look at the things that you are not taking the time for and figure out why am I not taking the time for them? Why am I not taking the time to do those things? And are they things that I really, truly do, want to do? Are they things I want to spend my time on? Right, and then you can start deciding how you want to proceed. So, is it really something that you want to take the time for? Is it something that you need to take the time for? Is it something that maybe you need to take the time for, but it doesn't have to be you doing it? So, really, looking at those things on a deeper level, on a more specific level, but just stopping right now, stopping the habit of telling ourselves that we don't have time for something, because what that does is keeps you in a place of not spending your time on things that you truly want or need to do. You do have the time. You just have to decide how you're going to spend it.
Okay, so that's the first lie that we tell ourselves when it comes to time and time management. The second lie that we tell ourselves is very similar…it's kind of building off of that first one…it’s that we aren't in control. We aren't in control of our time. I can't control my schedule, I can't control my calendar. I'm not in control of this. So I want you to think about when, if ever, do you find yourself saying or thinking that? Now, I think that this is probably going to come up more for those of you who are listening, who maybe have caseloads that you inherit, like caseloads that are given to you, that are assigned to you. You get these. You get, however, a number of cases, and people are maybe your boss, your supervisor, the private practice owner might be telling you who you're seeing and when you're seeing them, and so, to a certain degree, that might be true that you don't have the control over what's on your calendar. However, when you think that way, when you operate from that belief. It keeps you in this place of, I would say, like learned helplessness, right, it keeps you in this place where you don't have to take control of your calendar, and I think people use this excuse, quite frankly, as an excuse. They use this as an excuse I can't control what's on my calendar. So I would encourage you to question this, to challenge this. What ways do you find yourself thinking that or saying that? What specifically do you think it about? What specifically do you say it about? If you are, like me, a mom with kids and you know just hectic lives, busy, all of that you might find yourself thinking this. When it comes to things like the kids activities, right, like extracurricular sports clubs, activities, I don't know meetings, stuff like that, right, you might find yourself thinking well, these are all things I have to do and I can't control my schedule because you know this is when the meeting is and I have to be there, and so I got to work around it. Or this is when field hockey practices, so I got to work around it. Or this is when my I was going to say my podcast recordings are due. This is like just me thinking about myself. I'm guessing that many of you who are listening are not recording podcast episodes. So I'm trying to think of examples that resonate more with you. Maybe it's my kids are young, you know I can't predict when they're going to nap, and so I don't know when I'm going to actually be able to work or get free time or take a break. So think about how this shows up for you. Okay, I also think that people, we tell ourselves that if we try to create a schedule, it's going to backfire because our lives are too unpredictable, right, and this is like still falling in that under that umbrella of I can't control my schedule, I can't control it's on my calendar, and so you think that your schedule is so erratic and unpredictable that you can't create a schedule. There is no rhyme or reason to your schedule. Or you might find yourself thinking I don't know if this comes up for any people that are listening to this podcast, but maybe so I'll share it. You might think that having a schedule is too limiting, it boxes you in, it feels too constrained. So those are, those are all falling under that umbrella of you not being in control of what's on your calendar. And there's this concept of time ownership or time authority, and I feel like that's a podcast in and of itself, but I really want to encourage you to start looking at this on a deeper level, because if you continue to operate under the belief that you can't control your schedule, you will never be in control of your time. And while we can never truly 100% be in control of our time, we can be in control of ourselves. We can be in control of what we say yes to and what we say no to. So, in order to take control over your calendar, it requires you to make decisions and to establish boundaries and to stick to them. Right. And sometimes we don't want to do that because we don't want to be the bad guy. We don't want to say no to people, we want to people, please, right. And I would ask you where is that getting you? Where has that gotten you? Where is that getting you? Where are you right now? Okay, and start thinking about what small ways can I take back control over my schedule? And I'll be honest, I'll say one last thing on this lie and then I'll move on to the third one. But with this second one, for me personally, I have to remind myself that I am in control of my schedule, because otherwise it makes me feel powerless. And when I find myself driving my kids to appointments or, you know, games or practice or whatever, I could very easily get to a place of feeling resentment. And in order to check that, to kind of avoid going down that rabbit hole, I have to remind myself that I'm the one that signed them up for these things. I am the one that said yes, I can still say no, I can make changes, and that doesn't mean that I will. Most of the time I don't, but it at least reminds me that I do have power over what I'm spending my time on, even when I start to think that I don't. Okay, all right.
The third lie that we tell ourselves when it comes to time management is this one: “I'll have more time when…” How many times have you found yourself saying that? “I'll have more time when the kids are in school?” That was a big one for me. I'll have more time when summer break ends and the kids are back in school. I'll have more time when the kids are out of the house. That's a little bit further away for me, but I have clients who have said that, right? “I'll have more time when volleyball season ends, I'll have more time when my kids are sleeping through the night. I'll have more time when my kids are on a set nap schedule. I'll have more time when…” okay, fill in the blank.
Now I want to acknowledge that on some level, you could probably find an element of truth to that statement. However, more often than not, this is what happens when we do get more time. If that, like, let's say I'm on board with that, like, let's say I'll meet you there, okay, yeah, you'll have more time when the kids are in school, right? So let's agree. What happens is we fill that time with things, we fill that time with new things, we add things to our calendar, we add things to our plate, or we squander it. We don't pay attention to what we're spending our time on and it slips through our fingers, and so then we find ourselves in that same place of feeling like we don't have enough time. And if we lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that I'll have more time when, again, it keeps us from having to make changes and make difficult choices about what we spend our time on right now. It keeps us delaying different habits, hobbies, interests, whatever you want, like fill in the blank. It keeps us from delaying those things because it keeps us in this place of okay, well, we'll do that later. I'll have more time to focus on my practice goals, like my private practice goals, once I'm not seeing so many clients myself, or when I hire somebody to see the clients right. Well, spoiler alert, when that happens, you're actually going to have more things that are going to pop up on your plate that you're going to have to handle right, honestly, and that's just how our brain operates. Our brain will start filling in the gaps. Now, I tell myself this lie a lot. I tell myself this lie a lot these past eight months, I guess nine months, I don't even know how long it's been. I'm losing track. But as my husband's been deployed, I keep saying like to myself. I find myself thinking well, I'll have more time when Harry gets home, that's what I'll say. I'll have more time when he's back and, yes, that might be true to a certain extent. Will things be easier when he's home? And I'm not single parenting? Probably right. I probably will have someone else to share some of the burden, to share some of the responsibilities. However, there are going to be other things that are going to pop up on my calendar on my day to day tasks that I'm going to fill and start, you know, fill my calendar with and start spending my time on. So I think that you should be very cautious if you find yourself thinking this or saying this, and make sure that you are not using it as an excuse to delay doing something that you have to or want to do now. Okay, all right.
Third—that was the third lie: “'ll have more time when…” So we've got number one, I don't have time for that. Number two I can't control my schedule. Number three I'll have more time when. Number four is…this is somewhat similar. I'm laughing because totally do this all the time. “I just need to get through this day,” or “I just need to get through this month, I just got to get through this season.” Like, whatever the, however, you complete that sentence, it's like I just need to get through this right now, this busy season, and then things will be easier. When you operate with that belief, with that misconception, what it does is not only prevent you from spending time on things now, but it also keeps you in this space of hustle and urgency. It sets you up for this tone of okay, well, this is a really busy season of my life right now and I just got to get through it. I can't really control it, it's just like this is where I'm at and once I get through this, it will be better. So where does that lead you? Honestly, it leads you to, like I said, hustling, and when I say hustle, I mean like really working, busy, busy, busy, busy, without pausing and slowing down and taking care of yourself, right, it keeps you in this cycle of hustle, hustle, hustle, burnout, hustle, hustle, hustle, burnout, right, go, go, go, crash, go, go, go crash. And so this is especially common, I think, in the hyperachievers, the overachievers and I know my SLPs, I know many of you listening to this, can relate, right, I know, I mean, this is me, I'm definitely well, I definitely would call myself an overachiever someone that really, like my brain, just says you got to get this done, you got to do this, you got to do this, you got to do this. And it keeps me in this place of constant like frenetic energy of getting all these things done, with the lie of, on the other side, I'll be able to pause and slow down and, generally speaking, what happens is that, like slow down period never comes, or if it comes, I don't take it Like I don't actually pause and stop and restore and I reach that point of total burnout and I've gotten a lot better at managing this and being aware of it and figuring out how to, I guess, plan for it or really in a way of like preventing it from happening. But it's just sort of in my nature and that is like that's my MO and I know for many of you listening, it's your MO too. So being able to identify when that's coming up for you and recognizing it, because you know, I guarantee you, when you get through this month or you get through this day, there's going to be another month or another day that you're going to have to quote, unquote get through right Plus. One last thing on this lie what kind of quality of life does that create for you, right? Like, how does that impact the way you think and the way you feel day in, day out? If you have that mentality of I just got to get through this and, trust me, I know that there are times in life where you do truly like you hit a roadblock, something happens and you do have to get through it, like I do very much want to say that I just got to get through this deployment and then things will be better, and so I can use that to serve me or I can use that against me. And so I want you to really, if this is a thought that comes up for you, if this is a lie that you're telling yourself, I want you to really examine are you using it in service of yourself or are you using it against yourself? And I would venture to say that most likely you're using it against yourself.
Okay, the last one, the fifth and final lie that we tell ourselves, at least for this podcast episode. The fifth one is the more I accomplish, the better, the more I get done, the better. This might also look like the busier I am, the more productive I am, or the busier I am, the more valuable I am, and that's kind of a harsh reality to confront. But I know that I operate from that thought, that misconception, a lot, and I've had to unpack that for quite a bit, and I see this in clients that I work with, especially as a time management coach. I think that people come like there's probably a couple different categories of clients that I've worked with. But I think that some clients many come to me because they want to get more accomplished. I want to get more done because the more in the in like the follow up or the underlying thought with that is that the more I get done, the better I'm going to feel, the more successful I'm going to be. And I think that is probably one of the biggest thoughts to confront if it's coming up for you, because, again, the road leads to burnout. That thought leads to burnout and I would encourage you to really think carefully about how you define productivity. Productivity isn't about being busy. It's not about checking off all the boxes. It's about, to me anyway, it's about knowing what to work on and why you want to spend your time working on those things or doing those things and being in control of when and how you do them and being able to have time and take time for all of the things that you want to have time and take time for. It's not about getting a million things done right, because all that does is leave us chasing this high, chasing this like finish line of success or achievement success or achievement right and while I'm not saying that it's impossible to feel successful when you get tasks done. If that is how you define your success, you're constantly gonna be chasing success. So really think about not just how much you're getting done, but the quality of those things. What things are you spending your time on? Not just can I get so many things done as quickly as possible, but am I spending my time on the things that truly matter? And that's one of the reasons why, with my coaching clients, we often start with a needs and values assessment, where we spend a few minutes walking you through what is most important to you, what matters, what are the things that you value, what are the things that you need? So that way, as you're filling your calendar, you're filling it with things that are in alignment with those needs and with those values. So I would encourage you to really look at that on a deeper level and, if this resonates with you, that's actually one of the things that we're gonna be doing on the 27th of October is diving into what your core values are and starting there, so that, as we set goals for 2024 and as you choose the things that you're gonna spend your time on, you can choose those things with a level of discernment, with a level of curiosity and analysis about how they are, or are not, in alignment with the things that you value, and by doing that, it allows you to, number one, recognize your control over what's on your calendar, recognize that you can take the time to spend on things that are important to you regardless of how busy you are, and recognize that, when it comes to the things that truly matter, we always have time for those.
All right, that's all I've got for today's episode. Let me know what you think. You can send me a message on social media. The Instagram link is in the show notes. You can also pop into the Facebook group and share your thoughts there. But do me a favor if you know someone who needs this episode, who needs to hear these common lies or misconceptions about time management, would you do me a favor and share it with them? Go ahead and send them the link to this episode. And, while you're at it, go ahead and click the plus sign if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, and make sure that you subscribe or follow the show so that you know when new episodes are released, and it helps other people find the show as well. All right, y'all, I'll talk to you next week. Next week's episode is all about the surprising benefits of time management. So I will see you then.
*Please note that this transcript was generated by AI and may contain errors.