#43. So What is Coaching, Anyway??
Episode Shownotes:
If you've ever wondered about coaching, then today's episode is a must listen. I'm sharing an overview of coaching--something that I think is often misunderstood--and sharing some details on the types of things that clients and I have worked on together. Tune in to hear what coaching IS and ISN'T...some of these may surprise you!
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Episode Transcript*:
This is Your Speech Path: Mindful Time Management for the Busy SLP. My name is Theresa Harp and, as a mom and speech pathologist turned productivity coach, I know a thing or two about how hectic life can be. If you're an SLP who's overworked, burnt out and feeling like you're constantly falling short as a therapist and a mom, then this is the podcast for you. I cover time management and mindset strategies so you can learn to love your work and your home life at the same time. Let's dive in.
Hey SLPs, welcome back to the podcast. I am really excited for today's episode because it's something that I've never directly discussed or addressed here on the podcast, even though it's interwoven essentially into every topic that we cover, and so if you've ever been wondering what is coaching, then this is the perfect episode that you want to listen to. That's what I'm going to be talking about what is coaching and what isn't it. This is the perfect episode that you want to listen to. Okay, that's what I'm going to be talking about what is coaching and what isn't it. And let me tell you, as an SLP who had always, has always worked with families in sessions, I thought I knew what coaching was. I thought I knew what coaching was. When I discovered this field of coaching, the coaching industry, I sort of thought to myself oh well, maybe I could do that because I already have experience coaching. I am still certified as a listening and spoken language therapist and that is very heavily centered on family coaching. I've always worked with families in early intervention, which is very family-centered. A lot of parent coaching there and parents caregivers have been in all of my sessions. That's just a huge component of what I've done. So I really thought I knew what it was. And what I discovered early on is that the coaching industry life coaching, productivity coaching, so on and so forth that's not exactly the same as what we do in sessions as speech pathologists. The kind of coaching that exists within the coaching industry is, in my opinion, more client-led and I would say that's probably one of the biggest differences between the coaching industry and coaching as we think of it as SLPs. So it's slightly, it's very different. I shouldn't say it's slightly different, it's very different. Yes, there are some similarities and overlaps, but I would, if you're listening to this episode and you're familiar with parent coaching and that's your experience and your background I would just put that to the side as you're listening to this because it's going to. If you put it to the side, it will help you better understand what life coaching is, because you won't be looking through looking at life coaching through the lens of family coaching as SLPs. Okay, so that's just my sort of disclaimer as I get started.
So let me start by telling you what coaching is not, okay. So I mentioned it's not exactly like parent coaching that we do in sessions, but I don't know about you. For me, when I thought of life coaching, I thought that life coaching was for people whose lives were a mess, who, like, had some area of their life that was not going the way that they wanted it to, and maybe they were a little bit lost and maybe struggling, and so I thought, oh, okay, a life coach is someone that helps somebody get their life together. It's basically what I thought it was, and that is false. There might be elements of that that are true. Yes, life coaches do support their clients with making changes in their lives, but it's not for people, it's not necessarily or only for people who are, you know, really struggling in lots of different areas Life coaching. So just keep that in mind, okay, because we're going to come back to these sort of concepts as we go, but so that is one myth, okay, that I just want to dispel. It's not for people who are struggling in all areas and need somebody to help them get their life together. It's not. It it's also not pseudoscience.
Now, this is something that I really struggled with and I've talked about this in different episodes. Coming from the SLP world, which is so evidence-based, when I discovered coaching, it felt uncomfortable, it felt unsafe. In many ways, it was unfamiliar because in my mind it was all woo, it was woo-woo, it was, you know, unfounded, it wasn't backed in research, and so I had hesitation about it. And I think a big piece of that was my own limiting beliefs and my own experience of being in the SLP world for so long that I think now and this is just my opinion you can totally disregard but I think, now that I've kind of experienced both worlds coaching and speech I think that each could learn a thing or two from the other.
I think that in the SLP world, yes, we are very much evidence-based, and we need to be, and I understand the importance of that, but I also think there's some space for a little bit more qualitative type of research and experience, holistic type of information that we can gather as SLPs and use it to support our clients. Okay, so that's just my thought on that. But I will say, once I enrolled in a coaching certification program, I was introduced to all sorts of research and evidence that supports the benefits, supports the efficacy of coaching in general coaching techniques, coaching strategies. I learned the ins and the outs of the industry and the art, the field of coaching, the practice of coaching, just like we did you know, I did as an SLP, and so there's strategies and approaches and perspectives and all sorts of techniques that are a part of the coaching profession, and I was much more at ease once I had access to the literature that explores the impact and benefits of coaching. Okay, that explores the impact and benefits of coaching.
Okay, another thing that coaching is not—and this was a misconception, this is a misconception that I think most people have—coaching is not where somebody who is wiser or more experienced or who has achieved something that you want, tells you what to do. Coaching is not where somebody tells you what to do because that person knows better. It could not be further from that. Coaches don't tell people what to do. If we're talking about true, authentic coaching coaches, don't tell people what to do.
If we're talking about true, authentic coaching coaches don't tell people what to do. They ask questions to help people figure out what they want to do, and that's a really important distinction. So when people come to me, they book a consult and they say something like I just want you to teach me the strategies. I want you to tell me what I need to do in order to have better work-life balance. We have to have a conversation, because that's not exactly what coaching is about. Will they walk away with strategies for better work-life balance? Yes, but am I the one that's dishing them out and just teaching them strategies? No, that's not how it works and that's an important, like I said, an important distinction, and it's not necessarily suggesting that one is better than the other. It's just important that clients potential clients, are aware of the other. It's just important that clients potential clients are aware of the distinction, because if you're looking for someone to tell you what to do, then you want to go see a consultant.
You don't want to work with a coach If you want to understand more about yourself and help yourself get, if you want. Help you yourself figuring out what works for you. That's what you want to do with a coach. That's what a coach is designed to do with you. Okay, so that brings us then, it's a really nice segue into what coaching is.
And so, first and foremost, it is absolutely a collaborative partnership where the coach and the client are partnering together. Coach and the client are partnering together, working towards a specific outcome. So it's not the coach choosing the outcome, it's not the coach leading the client, it's the coach listening to the client and the client leading the coach, the client leading the session. Now, it doesn't mean that the coach is just kind of sitting there passively no, not at all. But it's very much client-centered, more so, in my opinion, than what we do in family-centered speech pathology practices. Okay, so I mentioned that the coach and the client work together towards a specific outcome, and I thought it might be nice to hear what some of those outcomes are. And when I say outcomes, I'm talking goals. You know focus areas, target areas, and they could be very much. You know measurable goals, the way that we are used to them as SLPs. They also might be a little bit more qualitative, less objective, more subjective, and that's okay. So some of the goals or the outcomes that clients and I have worked on together include establishing a private practice, refining changes within the private practice. So I helped one client with refining her caseload so that she was only taking on clients that were the right fit for her, that felt good, that fulfilled her, and she wasn't taking on the clients that were draining outside of her expertise or her interests. So on and so forth.
I've worked with a lot of clients on documentation. This comes up a lot and we've worked on this from two different approaches, one being a strategic approach and two being a mindset approach, if you will. But in my work with clients on documentation, some of the things that we've done have included creating systems or simple routines, or rhythms, as some clients call them, for their documentation, so that they can stay up to date and it becomes more seamless, less effortful, less time consuming. We've also explored how they can write session notes more quickly using different tools and strategies, and we've also looked at their underlying thoughts, the underlying thoughts and beliefs about documentation, because, quite frankly, those are the key to changing the pattern of documentation and your relationship with documentation. So that's, in a nutshell, my take on that.
I've helped a client with starting what she called a passion project. I don't know you might be listening to this episode Some of some of my clients might be listening but this client wanted to start what she called a passion project and essentially was a business, was a business that she wanted to create that was different from what she was doing in her day to day and was fulfilling some of her passions. We've worked on creating boundaries, specifically, for example, with a private practice owner who's also a mom, setting up boundaries in her practice that would allow her to be able to leave work at the end of the school day so that she could pick up her kids, she could spend more time with them after school, be more present, so on and so forth. We've also worked on increasing revenue. So I had one client we just had a session this morning actually who, the year before we started working together, her initial revenue for her business I think she said it was roughly 10k for the business and then after then we started working together a second year. At the end of the second year her revenue was 52,000. She had said roughly around 52,000 for the year. That's a significant jump and I'm not at all claiming credit for that, but I am telling you that we coached on topics related to her revenue and the activities and tasks that she was spending time on, but also on her beliefs, on her mindset, her belief in her ability to hit those goals, because really it's both together the strategy and the mindset where the change, the sustainable change, happens. So those are a few examples. They're certainly not all that we've done, but some examples of outcomes that clients and I have worked on.
And the fun thing about coaching, especially as a time management coach, is that every single thing we do in life is time consuming. Think about it, right? Every single thing consumes time. Everything, everything you do, takes time, which means that I get to coach on so many different topics, which is awesome. It's one of my favorite parts about it, right? Because it's always different, but it's always related to time. It always comes back to time, and so that's one of the, I think, reasons why the title time management coach is misleading, because, in my opinion, I think it suggests that time management coaching is strictly on how to get more done in less time. Similar to the title of productivity coaching it's. It doesn't, in my opinion, encompass the work that we do and the benefits of that work, because it's so much bigger than that. It's so much bigger than getting more done in less time. In fact, that's, quite frankly, not even the focus. So it's just an interesting little caveat, and if anyone has a better title, I'm entertaining all ideas, so send them my way, but it is a yeah, it is a tricky. It is a tricky situation. I know people have lots of thoughts about those titles productivity, productivity coaching, time management coaching. So you know, let me know what you got. I'm all ears. Send them my way, okay. The second thing that I want to tell you about coaching and what it is In addition to being a collaborative partnership, it is very much a space that the coach holds for the client and the client can use that space however needed.
So, as a coach, the coach is actively listening from a neutral place. That means, as a coach, you need to be aware of your biases, aware of your thought errors, aware of your beliefs, your opinions, and you have to keep them in check. You have to check them at the door. It doesn't mean that you don't have those opinions, those biases, check. You have to check them at the door. It doesn't mean that you don't have those opinions, those biases. It means that you're aware of them and you put them aside so that you can listen to your client from a neutral place. The coach asks clients powerful questions and those questions are asked purely from a place of curiosity, a place of curiosity for the client to build their awareness. Okay, so asking powerful questions, open-ended questions for the client to answer, purely as a means to build the client's coaching is also reflecting back what a client has said.
I cannot tell you how many times I've repeated, you know, just a comment in passing or a phrase that a client has said in the session and I've repeated it back to them and it's as if the client is hearing it for the first time. And that's because we're human and we have blind spots. We have perspectives, we have beliefs. And those blind spots perspectives, beliefs often limit us as people, as humans, from connecting the dots, having awareness, seeing things, big picture right. And coaching helps you see those things big picture. It helps you draw the connections, helps you see your blind spots. We all have blind spots, even coaches. That's why coaches work with coaches. Coaches get coached right. So that has been, that has been a, I think one thing that I will never go back on, is not working with a coach, right? I just, ever since I discovered coaching, it's, it's just. It was such a huge eye-opener for me. I just feel like there's always something that you can get coached on and the benefits have been. They've just, they've been amazing the benefits. Every session there's new learning, and so I work with a coach. I have a couple of coaches actually, and I think all good coaches should and that's just my opinion, I'll put it out there Okay, so we went over collaboration, we went over coach holding the space for the client and asking questions and then piggybacking off of that within each session, the client is growing in self-awareness, in self-efficacy, in acceptance.
It's not the coach who's growing in acceptance. Okay, it's not the coach who's growing, although, yeah, sure, your coaching skills will, will grow. If you are a coach, as you coach, you will get better at coaching. Just like, as a speech pathologist, as you treat, you get better at providing speech pathology right, providing speech therapy. So, but this the coaching sessions are about the client growing.
But the coaching sessions are about the client growing, and this is why it's not about the coach telling you what to do, because if the coach tells you what to do, the coach is telling you what to do from their perspective, from their brain, with their biases, and you, as the client, are not growing, you're not learning, you're not getting better because it isn't coming from you, right? And so the client is building the self-awareness and becoming more in tune with what their values and needs are and knowing themselves on a deeper level, so that they can accept who they are and still work towards who they want to become right, with the support of the coach. Okay, and it's not about the coach cheerleading. That's not at all what it is. Coaching is not about, you know, having somebody there to cheer you on and encourage you and give you a pat on the back and, you know, tell you that you can do it, and send you messages every day to get you inspired. No, that is not what it's about. Coaching is about, again, building the self-efficacy, building the client's belief in their ability to hit that goal, to make those changes. And so, yeah, coaches will support you, for sure, we will give you support, feedback. Some coaches provide accountability, but if you're looking for someone to do the work for you, tell you what to do and then cheer you on, then coaching is not what you're looking for. That's not going to be the right fit, okay.
And then, last but not least, with coaching, I want to take a minute to share that there is strategy involved. There is strategizing involved in coaching, but it probably looks a little bit different than what you think or maybe not so much as you've been listening to this podcast episode but I had always thought that the strategizing in coaching was the coach telling you what to do, the coach giving you the strategies. You go out and do it and then you come back, and that is not how it works. So I'm sure different coaches do this in different ways, but basically what I do with clients is we together, as a team, strategize about what actions to take, and it's not the client asking me well, what do you think I should do? What do you think I should do? It's me, as the coach, asking the client questions to come up with the strategies together.
So what we do is, as we're discussing and identifying strategies, actions that the client wants to take, we also are talking about potential obstacles. We also are talking about potential obstacles, things that might get in the way, and sometimes it's actual circumstances like actual obstacles. Sometimes it's the client right and we're human I'm human, you're human, your human brain getting in the way and holding you back. And then we identify supports and resources that the client can use in this journey towards self-development. And then the client goes out, takes the action and the client is an observer. The client is observing what's working, what's not working, what might I do differently. And the best part about this is that the client doesn't have to do all the work, because when we meet again in the next session, we're reviewing what happened throughout the week and the coach me myself as the coaches and that's when I'm pointing out things me myself as the coaches and that's when I'm pointing out things, I'm asking questions and and helping clients draw connections and, you know, essentially connect the dots between what worked, what didn't work, why it didn't work and what to do differently, what the client might do differently. And essentially, in talking about it, just in reviewing, oftentimes my clients will come up with their. I will see the learning on the spot and they will come up with actions, ideas, strategies that they want to try differently next time, and so it's an opportunity for learning. It's an opportunity for self-guided learning and then also coach-guided learning. And then we keep going right or goals that we've established at the start of our coaching together and we use the information from week to week to guide the client and to guide the session in what they're working on, where we're headed, what's the direction right, and then we repeat Same thing. Client decides what they're going to do. Then we meet back next session and we review and I can't tell you the amount of learning that happens in those reviews. It is tremendous.
I think one of the biggest things that I have seen within my clients, the clients who I've worked with, one of the biggest advantages, in my opinion, for them and it doesn't really matter, quite frankly, what matters is their opinion, but I'll share with you, since it's my podcast I think the biggest, one of the biggest gains that I've seen is increased self-awareness. That in a, in a nutshell, for me personally, that, and professionally as a coach, that is what I see so often and that is what coaching is all about. Is that increased self-awareness right? And once clients become more aware, it's almost like you can't not see it or you can't unknow the benefits of self-awareness. So you might not always be able to see everything clearly, right, because, like I said, we're humans with blind spots. But you now know, through the power of coaching, how to be more of an observer in your life and being curious.
Coaching is about curiosity at its core. You gain tremendous insights about what you do, why you do it, how you operate best, what you need, how you can show up as your best self and I just I can't. I know I'm biased, but I can't speak to the power of coaching enough. So that, in a nutshell, is what coaching is. And for those of you who are listening and you want to learn more, if this is something that you know, that you're ready for, or you wonder maybe if you're ready for and you just want to hear more about how we can work together, there's always a link in the show notes to book a free consult.
I'm planning actually to do a podcast episode in the near future about consults and what they look like and why they're so powerful, but in the meantime, go ahead and book a consult. You've got nothing to lose. Do that, and I cannot wait to help you figure out how you want to spend your time, so that you can spend it on the things that matter most to you. All right, that's it for this week. I will talk to you all next week. Thanks, as always, for being here. Bye.
*Please note that this transcript was generated by AI and may contain errors.