#27. End of the Year Reflection Questions & Answers
Episode Shownotes:
As the year draws to a close, gather around for a cozy end-of-year reflection where I don't hold back! I'm sharing my biggest successes and challenges from the year and what I learned from them. This is an episode for the nosy folk (that would be me!) 😂 as well as those who love to journal or reflect on their own year. Pop in those earbuds and let's dive in!
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Episode Transcript*:
This is Your Speech Path: Mindful Time Management for the Busy SLP. My name is Theresa Harp and, as a mom and speech pathologist turned productivity coach, I know a thing or two about how hectic life can be. If you're an SLP who's overworked, burnt out and feeling like you're constantly falling short as a therapist and a mom, then this is the podcast for you. I cover time management and mindset strategies so you can learn to love your work and your home life at the same time. Let's dive in.
Hello SLPs, it is the final episode of 2023. I am finding that a little hard to believe. This is one of my favorite times of year, not just because of Christmas and the magic of the season. I love that, but I also love the end of a year and a new beginning. It feels like a fresh start. It's when people seem to be thinking about self-development. It's when we have these moments, these thoughts about what we see for ourselves in the coming year. I want to just note or acknowledge that it is, in many ways, just another day on the calendar New Year's Day. I think that sometimes we can use this time of year against ourselves, because I think that we put a bunch of pressure on ourselves and we hype it up. That can be really overwhelming. Sometimes we also might put things off. We might put off making changes. I'll do that in the New Year, I'll do that in the New Year or I'll try that next year. That'll be something that I focus on next year. Really, every day is a fresh start. So, yes, it's a new year, a new month, but you can start a goal, you can start making a change anytime. If this time of year overwhelms you, if you get really overwhelmed by New Year's resolutions and all of the hype, then just remind yourself of that. It really is just an arbitrary construct that exists. If that's not in service of you, if that thought is not serving you, then don't worry about it. Then just put it aside. For me, I just find it so motivating and I often feel inspired and excited and I just like a fresh start. So I always enjoy that part of this time of year. In today's episode, I don't have an outline, I don't have notes. Well, I have a couple of notes, but I don't have a really clear understanding of where this episode's going to go. I really just want to treat it as a conversation, as if you and I were having a coffee chat. I don't drink coffee but I do drink wine, so I would have a wine chat and I just want to have a conversation about the related to reflecting on your past year and thinking ahead to the new year. So, if you get annoyed, if this is kind of going on a tangent, apologies, feel free to turn me off, but I think I've got some really great reflection questions for you, so I do think that you will get a lot out of this episode, even if it does seem like I'm kind of blabbering on a little bit.
Okay, so I mentioned reflection questions and I've got a number of questions that basically I want to share each question with you and then I'm going to give you my answers. So this is probably maybe an overshare, maybe, I don't know, maybe a little bit vulnerable, but let's just do it, okay. So the first question that I have for you and then I'm going to answer is about reflecting on the year and about accomplishments, and so the question is what were my most significant accomplishments this year, both personally and professionally? And I made sure that I have both pieces of that in here because, as you know, if you've been listening to the show, the podcast really is all about both aspects of your life your personal life, your family, your home, the people and relationships that are most important to you, and your work life, whether that's in a private practice or if that's in a certain setting, in a medical setting or in a school setting or whatever it looks like for you, right? Because both aspects impact one another, right? So that's why I really love looking at this from both perspectives.
So if we're talking about significant accomplishments in, let's start with professionally, because I think that's a little bit easier for me to answer. So, professionally, I would say, one of my biggest accomplishments, the first one that's coming to mind I told you I didn't put any of this out ahead of time, but the first one that's coming to my mind is going to the AAPPSPA conference. I'm not sure if those of you who are listening if you're familiar with the AAPPSPA organization. I am saying it correctly it stands for the American Academy of Private Practice in Speech Pathology, I think and Audiology as well. I think that's what the A is for, so the American Academy of Private Practice in Speech and Audiology, and so I was invited to speak at that conference in April it's the end of April, I believe, and for me. I love talking, I love giving presentations, I love creating slides and sharing content and engaging with other SLPs and learning from them. So that was a really fun accomplishment. I would say it was significant because it was the first time that I was being paid to present as a coach rather than an SLP. I've given presentations before as an SLP, where I'm showing up as a speech pathologist talking about speech topics, but this presentation was really through the lens of coaching, so that was the first. I would say it's memorable because it's the first time that I did something like that. So it was kind of like me stepping into, or stepping further into, this new identity. It's really not that new any longer. It felt for a long time like a new or unfamiliar identity. It's kind of like the way it does when you first start out in speech. I don't know if you can remember for those of you who have been practicing for a while, but I don't know if you can remember when you first started out as a speech pathologist, but it felt a little uncomfortable and a little bit awkward and a little bit unsure. So somewhat similar situation there. So that was one significant accomplishment professionally.
I'm also proud of the time that I continued showing up for the podcast, which was not always easy but was always fun for sure, and also the effort that I put into growing the SLP support group, which is still a pretty small, close-knit community relatively speaking, but when you think about how Well, I'll get to this in a minute. But there was a significant challenge that I faced in this year and Sort of relates to the way that that group has evolved. So I'm proud of that. I'm proud of getting more people to come into the group so that we have more SLPs who are aware of resources and aware of, you know, just all types of Information that will be helpful in terms of how to reduce some of the overwhelming burnout that SLPs are experiencing. Okay, so those are a couple of the business professional accomplishments I would say.
Personally, the most significant, significant accomplishment that comes to mind is really just Not just it is making it through this deployment. So, if you're not, if this is your first time listening, my husband was deployed for the majority of the year and I have four kids. They are, I have twins that are eight, I have a six-year-old and I have a four-year-old, and that was challenging. That was very, very challenging, but we made it through. And wasn't always Graceful. It wasn't always there weren't mom. There were moments that I'm not proud of, but we made it through and I still was able to keep the business up and running, which is, in my mind, a pretty significant accomplishment. I'm proud of that.
Okay, challenges, challenges and lessons. So the second question that I have is what were the biggest challenges or obstacles that you faced this year? And for me, the, the achievement that I mentioned about the deployment was also one of the biggest challenges that I faced. For sure, I had never done a deployment with kids before I. It was just there were a lot of moving parts, there were a lot of big emotions from the kids, there was just it was taxing. It was very, very taxing and I wanted to do it in a way where I didn't completely burn out and lose myself, and so there was effort made, an intention set to try and Navigate the deployment in a way where I could still have, you know, time for myself and I was still taking care of myself, which wasn't easy, and I I think that the lesson—there are many lessons that I learned there—but one of the lessons that I learned is that we can absolutely do things that feel impossible, and we can do them for long periods of time, and that really is where the growth happens. There's just so much growth in that, whether you realize it in the moment or you don't, or you don't realize it, but maybe, looking back after the fact, I guarantee you there is something that you can take from the challenge that will help you grow.
So the deployment was definitely one of the biggest challenges. And then the other challenge that comes to mind is back in February, actually right after my husband deployed, I received a cease and desist letter from somebody overseas who had a business, has a business that was the same name as my former name, the name, the former name of my business and they-this person applied for a US trademark and in their application to trademark the name they sent over the cease and desist letter, and so that was that was really challenging. Now I will say I had sort of been tipped off, like I kind of knew that this was coming like just right before I mean a couple of maybe like a week. I had maybe like a week notice that this was happening, and so when the cease and desist letter came from the lawyer. I didn't have like a total panic attack because it wasn't seemingly out of nowhere. I had had like a few days to kind of process what my options were and I anticipated that that letter would be coming. So that helped. However, it really was such a challenge for me because it brought everything down, like I actually had to take everything down. I couldn't post under the business name, I couldn't treat clients, I couldn't have coaching sessions and get paid under that name, I couldn't release podcast episodes under that name, and so, and because I really wanted to stay in like I wanted to stay within the parameters of the cease and desist, as the lawyers were kind of hashing out the guidelines, so I was airing on the side of caution and I really couldn't do anything. And, on the one hand, maybe that I didn't even think of this until right now, maybe that was a blessing because maybe the timing maybe the timing was a blessing because it happened right after my husband had left and it did kind of force me to slow down in some ways. So that might be one of the benefits of it. However, I think that for me, work is helpful, work is my break, work is my release. It allows me to think like a grownup and have grownup conversations and I really enjoy working. So that piece was hard and then it was just stressful, just the stress of having to navigate that and I do not like to. I didn't wanna put myself at risk of any litigation. So that piece was challenging but I will say that eventually it all worked out. It was able to kind of I scrambled pretty quickly in figuring out a new name and a new logo and like all of that stuff and the new it's not new any longer, but the current business name, Theresa Harp Coaching, very much fits like, it feels more comfortable. It fits me and it's—it is me. It's not going…I'm not gonna have the issue of a trademark in the, a trademark issue in the future. So that it was serendipitous, it really was meant to be. I didn't love the name beforehand. It didn't…quite honestly, it never felt completely right and this does. So that was, that was. It was all for the best, right? In hindsight, I guess so.
But the lessons that I would take from that? I would take a couple of lessons and this is probably gonna be helpful for those of you who are starting a private practice and maybe you're getting caught up in the name. I don't regret moving forward with that name. I still don't regret it, even though I knew when I first picked my name back in 2021, when I set up the coaching business, I knew it wasn't quite right, but I did not want to get stuck. I could not come up with the name that I loved and I was very much aware that and I was just talking about this with somebody yesterday I was very much aware that I didn't know how the business was gonna evolve. It was a brand new coaching business. I was brand new to coaching. I didn't know who I was gonna be working with and what my brand was gonna look like and feel like. So I just went with the name. That was the best option that I had so that I could get started, and I'm happy I did that because in doing so, I was able to get started and see how things evolved and learn more about my coaching business and what my coaching sessions were like and sort of what my identity as a coach was like and my style of coaching all of that. So it allowed me to get started and to go and to go forward with the knowledge that it could be a mistake, like it might not be the right name, but that it would all work out. And that's what I did, whereas before the old me, what I would have done was gotten really stuck in analysis, paralysis, trying to figure out the perfect name, and it would have cost me time, which is ironic, isn't it? As a time management coach. It would have cost me time of working with people, time of learning, time of growing. So if you ever find yourself in this situation, two pieces of advice, unsolicited advice, but I guess if you're listening to this podcast, maybe that's kind of why you're here. Two pieces of advice would be number one don't let the name stop you. Stay within reason when you are coming up with your name. Don't just come up with any name that you think of. Definitely give it some thought, but don't overthink it. And then, number two, really consider the possibility and the benefit of a personal brand. It's definitely not for everyone and at some point in the future maybe I will no longer want a personal brand name, maybe that will change, but for now it works and the deal with a personal name is that it kind of protects you from that trademark issue. Which then brings me to the third piece of advice. I said I had two pieces, but the third one would be trademark. Trademark your name. If you have a name that you're really, really attached to and you would be devastated if something like this happened to you, trademark it. Just do yourself a favor and trademark it and reach out to me if you need the name of a trademark lawyer, because I will give you the one who I worked with, who is fabulous and she can help you as well.
All right, so that was challenges and lessons. There's obviously so many more, but I'm just kind of bringing out the highlights. This is like the highlight reel, all right. Third question that I have for you, reflection question, is about personal growth and development, and these are all interrelated. But the question is, “In what ways did you grow as an individual throughout the year, and are there any skills or strengths that you developed or improved on?” So I think I grew a lot this year. I grew a lot this year. You know what one thing I started doing and I'm definitely oversharing now, but whatever one thing I started doing for the first time in a very long time is work with a therapist, and I did that because I knew that my husband was leaving the last time he was deployed. It was challenging and I just I knew I would need a reserved time just for me and I wanted something in addition to the coaching, because most of the coaching that I that I'm getting right now is more business, more business related. So I really wanted something. I really wanted a therapist, and that I'm so happy I did that. It's just been such a great outlet for me and she's wonderful. So I don't know where I was, oh, where I was going with. That is that, it's one example, I think, of the things that I do, or the things that I'm doing under that umbrella of personal growth and development. I just find that to be so important. I don't…I get bored. I don't like just sort of existing. I'm always looking at like, okay, what can I do differently, what can I do better, what do I want to work on? One thing I told my husband this morning that I was working on. There's two things actually. One one is I'm trying to do a better job of being in the moment, being more present, and specifically within that, I'll give you an example when I have a thought, like when I have a thought of oh, you know, I wonder how so and so is doing, or oh, I should reach out to so and so or oh. This really reminds me of this person, and it's somebody that I don't really talk with daily or weekly. Instead of just saying it, actually doing it, like stopping what I'm doing in the moment and sending the message, making the contact, like giving. Sometimes it's as simple as like giving a compliment, like if I see somebody and I'm like, oh my gosh, they, you know I really love, I really love your sweater. Or you know I really love I don't know you. Just you look so happy today, you look so beautiful today, you're glowing, like. These are the thoughts that I might think in my head but I might not actually say out loud. Right, so just be more open and saying that, saying those positive things, I think it goes a long way. I don't know why we don't do that more often, or why I don't do that more often, especially because, from like a time management or like an energy management perspective, it's like if you have that thought floating through your head oh, I should reach out to so and so, and you don't do it it's still like circulating in your head, whether you realize it or not, it's like an open loop, and so just from an efficiency standpoint or productivity standpoint, I'm like, okay, I'm going to reach out to them and you know, so it's. It just frees that up. But really that's not the reason why I'm doing it, but it just, you know, can make someone's day, and I think if we all just did a little more of that, things would be a little bit I don't know lighter and a little bit happier.
So that's one thing, and the other thing that I the other area that I'm intentionally trying to grow in is it's hard to explain. I guess the best way to say it is being more bold, being more like speaking up more. I don't know why this is hard for me, but it is not always. It's not always hard for me, but it is sometimes and certain situations it is difficult for me to speak my mind or to say something in certain situations, and so it's because I'm usually it's because I don't want to offend anyone, I don't want to offend them, I don't want to seem rude, I don't want to upset anybody, and so I won't speak up. And it's stupid. Shit like this is stupid. This is so stupid, but it shows up in really stupid ways. For example, when I go to the deli counter. I don't know if you live in New Jersey, but if you live in New Jersey and if you ever go to the deli in a supermarket or any deli, if you go to just a deli, it is a very high stress situation, like there's usually a lot of people, the lines are long, it's rushed, it's like you got to know what you want, you got to say what you want, and like you don't screw around, you get in, you get out, and which is fine. Except it's like, well, if they, you know, sometimes they'll like slice the meat and then they'll hold it up and they'll be like, okay, like how's this? Right, you know, sometimes you know they cut it and it's really thick, like with the cheese, with the cheese slices. I can't stand it with. The cheese slices are so thick, because then you put it on your sandwich, it's like you're having a cheese sandwich and not a turkey sandwich. Or when you put it on your egg sandwich, it's like you're having a cheese sandwich and not an egg sandwich. So I like my cheese to be a little bit thin, but I don't like to say it, I don't want them to get annoyed by me, I don't want to hold up the line, and so that's one of the things that I'm trying to just get over, like get over it, just say what you want to say and speak up and don't feel guilty about it, don't feel scared about it or do it scared. So it seems so silly, but that is something that I am working on and I would say that that that coaching has actually helped me do this, because as a coach, you are taught, at least you know, in the program, the certification program that I, that I'm in, you're basically taught, you know, one of the things that you're taught is to ask the hard questions, to say the difficult thing, and you're not doing it in a confrontational way, you're doing it in a way of support and in the other person's best interest. But you do need to say the difficult thing, and I have practiced doing that. It's definitely a work in progress, but it's one area of personal growth.
In terms of skills or strengths that I developed, I would say what's coming up for me is like business stuff you know, new skills that I learned, new sort of technology or systems and things that I have learned to implement and illustrate I don't think illustrates the right word here, but like implement into my business tech stuff, like doing stuff on the website on the back end, like those little things that are actually the big things I improved upon, I would say so there's some some skill building there, All right.
Fourth question I've got for you is about relationships: “How did my relationships evolve or change over the past year?” So this is sort of related to my comment earlier about reaching out to the person when you think of them and saying giving the compliment, saying the thing that you're thinking. I think I've tried to do more of that, which I think has helped with relationships. I would imagine, if I really reflected on that, I probably would would be able to tell you some ways that it has. I think, though, what I'm thinking of right now in terms of relationships evolving would be I'm thinking about the relationships with my kids, because, you know, we had 10 months. The majority of the year, it was me and them and I, for some reason, I don't really remember thinking about my connection with them in terms of a relationships like this. It sounds horrible, I don't. It sounds worse than I meant it, but what I, what I'm trying to say is I think for so long…I mean, my kids are only my oldest are only eight, but since I, since I've been a mom, I don't think I really think about the relationship with each of them as much as I do, you know, am I being a good mom? Am I showing up for them? Am I supporting them? And I don't, I think sometimes too, because there's four kids and they're very close in age, it's very easy to sort of group them together in your mind or in my mind, and it's I have to really pause and remind myself that they're each. You know, I want a relationship with each of them and that relationship can look different and it will look different for each of them, and that's okay. But when I, for whatever reason, when I made the shift to start really thinking about my connection with them as I would any other relationship, it helps me to be more present and it helps me to be more mindful of how I treat that and what I say. Because, let's be honest, you know, as a mom and when you're a single parent, I don't know how single parents do it I have so much respect. You know there were times, like for 10 months, I kind of felt like a single parent and it's really easy to snap at them. It's really easy to, you know, lash out or lose your temper, lose your patience, and it's not. That's not the. That's sort of like giving them the short end of the stick and that's not how I want the relationship to to be. So if I really think about, okay, like, am I connecting with them? Am I like actually pausing and looking them in the eye? It sounds so ridiculous and I'm sort of ashamed to admit this, but I bet, if you really stopped, if those of you who are parents, if you stopped and thought about it, like, how many times do we engage with our kids without actually pausing and looking at them and like being present in the moment? For so long, and for especially for this year, it was really hard not to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and my natural MO was like, okay, we got to go, go, go. Like this is what we have to do, I've got to get this done, this done, this done. It was like make it to bedtime, make it to bed time, get it all done. And it's a terrible way, it's a terrible, terrible way to operate and to live and like to be in that energy all the time. I think I sort of had to do that in many ways for survival. It was very much a matter of survival for the most of the year, but it's not sustainable and it's not enjoyable and I really had to work hard to pause and connect and I would say that would be my. One of my biggest takeaways is that just tiny moments of connection go a long way and I've actually coached clients on this as well, like I'm thinking of, one person in particular is probably listening. We've coached on this. She was wanting to work on spending more time with her kids and building the relationships with her kids and she had it in her mind that she needed to be with her kids all the time when they were after school and spend all this amount of time with them. And we really coached on quality over quantity and looking at how you can actually get that connection, the connection in the relationship that you're craving. You can get that, you can build that, you can grow that in the tiny moments. It doesn't have to be like two hours at a time spending together. It can be the little, little moments, the things that you do together that you enjoy, and so trying to notice those little moments, is it just it goes such a long way and it improves the relationship right. Then it improves behavior, like a lot of times. I mean, we all know that, as most of you who are listening to this, we know right behavior with children. It's really coming from an unmet need and so looking at it through that lens has been really helpful. It's not always easy for me to remember to look at it through that lens, but when I do, I'm like, oh, okay, yes, I see what's happening. I, I understand that she's she's lashing out because you know, she's feeling really overwhelmed with everything going on, or she's missing her dad, or we've. I've been rushing her out the door and I haven't paused to like actually listen to her, you know. So stuff like that, if you really pause and notice, it can help.
All right, I'm going, this is a soapbox, so I will get off the soapbox. And now I'm going to go to my next question, which is related to time. So what did I spend my time on this year and next year? What do I want to spend more or less time doing? So this year, I think I mostly spent my time parenting and surviving. I also spent my time at work, you know, in coaching, which I love. I spent time probably more time on Netflix or, you know, streaming channels than I spend my time doing. But I spent more time on my YouTube channel, which is a really good time to talk about how I spend my time reading, how I spend my time on Netflix, and then I spent more time on my YouTube channel than I spend on Netflix. So I'm going to go ahead and do some more of probably a coping mechanism that is an easy way for me to unplug and well, it's not really unplugged, but detach and just sort of check out for a little while at the end of a day. So I think that's a really good way to do that and I think that's really important. I think that's really important and I think that's really important. And I think that's really important because I'm not going to focus on reading a whole lot. I'm not going to focus on reading a whole lot. I do love to read, but I noticed what was happening was I would start a book that I maybe read a couple chapters and then just fizzled, and I think that maybe that's a little ADD. I don't know, maybe that's that's just like a symptom of the situation of this year, whatever, but next year I will, I would like to get back to reading more, so that's something that I'd like to spend more time on. I'd also like to spend more time working, and I say this with total certainty and without any guilt. I love working and I want to be able to spend more time doing it, and I think that's okay. I think that you know my kids their dad is home now and they are getting older and you know they're starting to do more things after school. They don't need me quite as much as they used to when they were really little. They're still little, but so I'd like to, I'd like to spend a little more time doing that. I think I'd also like to prioritize sleep. Next year, that was one of the priorities that I had made for this year. I was looking back at my journal from my planning from the end of last year, where I was planning out 2023. And I had talked about prioritizing sleep and that really didn't happen as much, and I could go into a whole podcast episode on that. Maybe I will another time, I don't know, but I do think I want to make that a bigger priority. I spent time working out. I love working out. It really helps keep me sane, so I wouldn't I don't regret that. I would continue to do that and spent some time for myself. I went on a retreat at the end of August. I'm calling it a retreat I don't know if you would call it. I don't know if that's exactly what you would call it, but it was a mix of coaching and it were getting coached and business development and then just rest and respite and just amazing. It was exactly what I needed. I loved every second of it, was a perfect balance of work and rest and I'm so happy I invested in the time. I invested the time and the money to do that. Highly recommend, 10 out of 10. recommend. Okay, next year I would like to spend less time losing my shit. I don't mean literally losing things. I mean I want to spend less time in that like fight or flight, like stress moments where you're like not in control, emotional regulation. I want to work on that. I think this year I very much was in fight or flight and even trying to be intentional with self care, even trying to, you know, be really mindful, even trying to work on myself. Even trying to take go easy on myself, I still was just naturally in this state of heightened anxiety and it fight or flight is really the best way I can describe it and the one of the results of that was that I lost my temper quite a bit more than I would like. So I'd like to spend less time losing my temper and more time just kind of just being able to work on emotional regulation in the moment, staying calm, all of that okay.
Last but not least, I have a question about the new year. What are your hopes and intentions for the upcoming year, based on your reflection from this year? So I'm not gonna go into total, like I'm not gonna go into great detail on this, because I do want to do a separate episode about goals, but with a little bit of a different flavor. I would say that my hopes and intentions for 2024 are to grow the podcast in terms of number of downloads, to grow the Facebook group in terms of number of members. I would love to do more presentations, give more presentations to SLPs. In fact, I will be giving one in January, which will be a great fun way to start the year, and I also would like to be able to help more women. I want to help more SLPs or women from similar fields who…really, any woman who is struggling with building a business or a career while also building a family and a personal life at the same time. I think that there is so much good that can come out of both of those things, and I think many of us are struggling with figuring out how to do both and feel good about how we're showing up in both our career and our personal life. I see this time and time again and I hear it said time and time again. I feel like I've got everything under control at work but, you know, couldn't tell you how anything else is going at home or vice versa. I feel like I can't even focus on building my private practice because I'm drowning in laundry or whatever it may be, right. So I want to help more women with that. Those are a few of my hopes and intentions for the upcoming year. I've also got some stuff in my personal life that I would like to do got. We have some goals of things that we want to do with the house and stuff like that, but I won't bore you with all those details, just putting that out there, okay, so that is a wrap, I think on the final episode of the season. I've still got more episodes to record, but this is the last one that's gonna be released in 2023. I really want to thank you for being here and listening, and I want to invite you to come and join the SLP Support Group on Facebook. You know it's one of my goals is to help grow the group, but really the intention there is to help more people, so make sure you're in the group if you're not already. I've got big plans for what we're gonna be doing in the group in 2024, which I will be talking about on another episode, and I want to wish you all a very happy holiday season, whatever holiday you celebrate, and the happiest of New Year's. It is a fresh start, which is fantastic, but don't use that against yourself. Okay, final thoughts. Don't use it against yourself. Thank you again and I will talk to you all in 2024.
*Please note that this transcript was generated by AI and may contain errors.