#28. Three Things I'm Trying in 2024
Episode Shownotes:
As we kick off 2024, my thoughts are centered around new projects, ideas, goals, etc. This year, there are three things that I'm testing out on my journey of personal and professional growth. Tune in to hear what they are, why I think they will be game changers for me, and to explore what you can try on your own journey!
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Episode Transcript*:
This is Your Speech Path: Mindful Time Management for the Busy SLP. My name is Theresa Harp and, as a mom and speech pathologist turned productivity coach, I know a thing or two about how hectic life can be. If you're an SLP who's overworked, burnt out and feeling like you're constantly falling short as a therapist and a mom, then this is the podcast for you. I cover time management and mindset strategies so you can learn to love your work and your home life at the same time. Let's dive in.
Hey SLPs, welcome to the first episode of 2024. I'm pretty sure, anyway, that this is the episode that will get released first. So if you are listening to this right as it's been released, happy new year. Or if you're listening to this at some other random time of year, I hope you're having a good day and a good year. It's just funny how our mindset and our focus and our energy is so different in the beginning of the year than it is in the middle or towards the end of the year, and I right now am very much at the end. I'm recording this in December and so I'm in that mindset of new, fresh start, new goals, new habits, new whatever, self-improvement. So that's where I'm at right now and I think it'd be great if we could all sort of bottle that up and hold on to it throughout the year, because obviously we all sort of lose steam, lose interest, lose motivation as the years go on. So if you are listening to this at some random time of the year, then maybe you take this as your sign to sort of get re-inspired, get back on track, get re-motivated, because we can have this sort of new year energy at any point in time. Anyway, so that is not the point of today's episode. I'm sharing three things that I'm trying out in the new year, just as a way to help me reach the goals that I'm setting and create some shifts in my lifestyle, in my day-to-day thinking, my day-to-day actions, all that sort of stuff. And I am going to keep this short and sweet. I know the last few episodes have been a bit lengthy. Today's going to be much shorter, straight to the point.
So, in the spirit of being to the point, here are the three things that I'm trying out, and I'm just sharing this purely for those of you who are curious, nosy. I know I'm nosy, but also I'm not saying that you need to try any of these things, but I do want you to think about what things you do want to try in the new year, so keep that in mind as we're going. So the first thing that I'm trying to be more intentional about in 2024 is adopting the identity of who I want to become, and that sort of verbiage is from James Clear's Atomic Habits. I've been thinking about this more and more lately, and if you haven't read James Clear's Atomic Habits, by the way, I think it's a great resource. My best friend was over recently with her family and we were talking about this book and how it is pretty—there's a lot of it that's common sense, right, was the comment that her husband made, and I agree. A lot of it is common sense, but I think it's a great reminder of how simple things can be when we're trying to achieve change. But anyway, so in the book, James Clear talks about thinking like—well, really, the concept that he talks about is building identity-based habits, and so what he means by that is thinking like the person you want to become and choosing habits, creating habits that are consistent with what that person would do, what that person would think, what that person would say. This is something that is pretty common in coaching as well, where we talk about how your mindset because it really speaks to the role that the mindset plays in achieving your outcomes and you can act a certain way, you can make certain choices, you can set out with these big goals, but really what I believe is that you want is to become that person and I'm not talking about changing your whole identity, but becoming a better person, embodying the actions and the beliefs and the thoughts that that person, whatever that person is, would embody. So in Atomic Habits, he gives—James Clear gives this example, so maybe this will help you understand what it is that I'm trying to say and I'm not articulating very well at such an early hour of the day because I'm recording this very early. But he gives the example of someone who is trying to quit smoking and he says something like okay, imagine this person is offered a cigarette. They respond, “No thanks, I'm trying to quit,” versus the response of, “No thanks, I'm not a smoker.” And he talks about how it's essentially just different wording. Right, the message is the same, like you're not gonna, not gonna have the cigarette, but the thought process or the thoughts that are underlying those words are very different. I'm trying to quit implies that that person is still thinking like a smoker, they still identify as a smoker and it is something that they're trying to stop trying to change right Versus I'm not a smoker. They have that indicates that they've already shifted the way that they see themselves, the way that they think about themselves, and how that subtle shift in identity, even just that subtle shift in semantics, can help to reinforce the, the identity of who you want to become. I remember for me when I was starting out as coaching, you know, when I switched from speech to coaching. This was a big challenge for me because in my mind I was an SLP and I still am right, but, like I thought, like a speech pathologist, I identified as a speech pathologist. I my people, there's my circle of people who I interact with and socialize with. Many of them are speech pathologists. There's a lot of history there and it was a big part of my identity and I was then switching into coaching, transitioning into coaching, which was something that was never on my radar. I really didn't know any coaches. No one around me was working with a coach or knew about coaching, and so I sort of felt like a fish out of water and I wasn't yet thinking like a coach, acting like a coach. It was very hard for me to do that. It felt clumsy, it felt awkward, it felt new, unfamiliar. And this was a challenge because anytime I showed up to a coaching class, as I was in my certification courses, or a coaching session or a networking event or whatever it was where I was stepping into that space as a coach, I struggled because I was really still stepping in as a speech pathologist and so even when I would take the actions of going to the coaching events, of reading the coaching books, of watching the coaching sessions and, you know, engaging in coaching conversations and you know, professional development and stuff like that, all of that I was showing up as a speech pathologist. Still like, in my mind, that's who I was. I saw myself as a speech pathologist in a room full of coaches and so I would take these actions, but the underlying thoughts behind them were not in alignment with those actions, so the outcome was limited. I really was, you know, in coaching sessions, when I was coaching, I feel like I, when I was thinking like a speech pathologist and not thinking like a coach, the coaching, the quality of the coaching, was not as good, obviously, right, and so the point being that you need to really adopt and encompass the identity of that person that you want to be. And this, when I say the person you want to be, I'm not necessarily talking about the job title that you want, although that could be, that could be it, like in my case right, but more so like how do you want to be as a person? Do you want to be, you know, a healthy, you want a healthy lifestyle, you want a healthy, healthy environment. You want healthy habits and you need to think like a healthy person. You need to become the healthy person, and the reason why this is so hard is because you're trying to do it. I'm talking about doing it in advance. You're doing it before you actually are that person, before you actually are thinking like that person and taking those actions like that person. Right, you have to think about it and become it before you actually are it, and that is so difficult. So, for those of you who are listening, who are private practice owners, maybe you're starting out, maybe you have a new practice that you're, that you just started, or a practice that you are. Maybe it's been established for a while, but you're looking to make some changes. You have to start thinking like a private practice owner and you have to start becoming the private practice owner that you want to be. You have to think like that person, you have to act like that person. You have to become that person before you actually are that person. I hope that this is making sense and I would encourage you, if you're listening to this, to really get clear on who you want to become Like. Sit down and brain dump what does that look like Like. Describe that person and I would anchor into some of the core words that come out on the paper that really resonate with you, the ones that you really gravitate towards, and see what they have in common, see what sticks for you, what really helps you to get inspired, get motivated, what feels real and focus on that right. So, for me, I have two specific things in mind for me in 2024 in terms of who I want to become, in terms of my professional identity, I feel like I now have stepped into the identity of a coach. I now actually I do think like a coach and I like, that identity shift is clear. I can look back at how I was thinking and how I was showing up in 2021. And now, looking at where I'm at in 2023, very different. I don't feel like an imposter anymore. I don't feel like a fish out of water, you know, there are moments of that but definitely, definitely a shift in my identity, my self identity. So for 2024, I'm focusing on the identity of, I'm trying to think of how to I need to do this exercise that I'm encouraging you all to do. Maybe I will do this just to get a little more clarity, because I'm having trouble articulating what exactly it is that I want. The identity that I want to adopt, but it is someone who has a very successful, thriving coaching business, who is seen as a thought leader, who is seen as and is not just seen as but who is a thought leader and who is a resource for other SLPs. I am so sick of the culture that is so prevalent in speech pathology right now and that's another topic for another episode but I want to start stepping up as an agent of change, as someone who is shifting the culture of burnout and overwhelm in the fields of speech, and so that is one identity of who I want to become a coach for SLPs, who helps to shift the culture of our field. And then the other piece, and this is totally unrelated, but in terms of identity, when I think about my identity as a parent, I want to start becoming more of a calm parent. I sometimes can get very caught up in the hustle of things and I'm very reactive and have trouble with emotional regulation, and I want to start slowing that down and start identifying as a parent who is calm, who is present, who is connected, and so I have to start thinking like that parent. So in the moments with my kids, when they come, and my immediate reaction is to kind of snap, being totally honest and vulnerable here, I want to start thinking like okay, well, no, I'm a calm mom, I'm a calm parent, and start thinking what would a calm parent say? Right, what would a calm parent do? And as I start thinking about that in the moment, over time it adds up it's that cumulative ROI, right, that compounding interest, okay. So my question for you is who do you want to become? And get really clear on that and describe what that looks like and start thinking like that person. Okay, all right.
Second thing I'm trying in 2024 is I'm like hesitant to even say this, which shows you that I still have work to do, thought work to do in this, but I want to start doing more okay, I'll just say it: doing more manifesting. So this is hard for me to say because it's so woo right, like I wrote down as I was outlining this episode. I started outlining okay, why am I so resistant to that word, the resistance? There's a couple things. One is that it's so woo woo in my mind and I don't think it actually is. I was just having a conversation with another SLP recently and we were talking about this concept of manifestation and whether there is evidence that supports it. And, as an SLP, there's this cognitive dissonance, if you will, this split between two conflicting thoughts or beliefs. And one is, as an SLP, we are an evidence-based field and so you go where the evidence leads you, you use evidence-based practices right, and that's drilled into us, and I'm not saying that's wrong, I'm not saying that I'm moving away from that. But the other piece, the other side of it, this disconnect, is manifestation is seen as something that's very woo woo. It's very much like, oh, let's rub some crystals and just envision what's going to happen and then, poof, it will happen. And that's not actually what I believe, and that's not exactly what I'm talking about. So when I say manifestation I am talking about really. This is actually building off of the first thing that I'm trying adopting the identity of who I want to become. With manifestation I'm what this looks like for me is pausing during the day to just journal right down who it is that I want to become, what it is that I want, what am I trying to create, and just sitting in that, thinking about that and journaling on it and letting it sort of marinate, I guess, and just seeing what happens, right. So the thing, the reason why I think manifestation gets a bad rap is because people interpret it as saying you just dream about it and you think about it and you visualize it and then it happens. And that is definitely not the case. And for me, manifestation looks like adapting the identity, thinking like that person, journaling like that person, writing it down as if it's already happened, and then taking action from that place. Right, it's like you have to have the action, you can't just have the vision, you can't just have the dream. So I want to be really clear that that's what it looks like for me. That's what I'm talking about. A couple of the other reasons why I resist this, besides my thought that it's too woo-woo is, there's, there is an underlying thought of “I don't believe it really works,” like there's still a little bit of doubt. So if it's not, if I have this thought of “it's not going to work.” So then the next thought is, like, “well, why bother, like why spend my time on that? Because I don't think it's actually going to make a difference.” And the other piece of resistance for me is that it slows me down. So I don't, I'm like go, go, go. Like what are we doing today? What's happening? What am I getting done? I'm very focused, usually very focused on what's happening and, in my mind, manifesting or spending time, taking a few minutes out of the day to do a meditation or to journal, would slow me down. And so by identifying those three sort of sources of resistance, it allows me to work through it, because I can sort of dismantle each of those and then overcome that objection so that I'm able to do what it is that I want to do, which in this case is journal on on the identity, journal, on the manifestation, right. So if I let go of the belief that it's too woo, if I let go of the doubt that it might not work, if I let go of the thought that it's going to slow me down, or I acknowledge those thoughts and say I'm going to do it anyway, then the results, the outcomes of my actions, of the manifestation, will be that much more effective, that much more real, that much more tangible, that much more successful, whatever, right? So that's the second thing that I'm going to try, and I really believe that that sort of builds off of the first one: adopting the identity of who I want to become.
So the third thing that I'm trying in 2024 also builds off of the manifestation, right, these are all building off of one another. The third one and this is really hard for me, but the third one is slowing down to speed up. I struggle with this a lot. My natural energy is fast, it's quick, I'm fast paced, I'm hurry, I'm rush and I don't want to continue. I, I don't want to continue at that pace. I think it causes a lot of damage. I think it can, what's the word? It doesn't ruin relationships, but it can cost me the quality of relationships. Think about it when you are, if you're a mom, if you are like go, go, go, let's go. We got to get out the door, we got to get our stuff ready. Do you have this? Did you do that? If you have that energy throughout the day, think about what that does to your interactions with your kids in those moments. I know for me, when I'm rushing them out the door, when I'm trying they're not going fast enough for me and I'm trying to rush them and hurry them, it almost always backfires, number one, because now we're in a power struggle. And then, number two, it tarnishes the relationship. It like chips away at that connection because I'm seen as the drill sergeant, I'm seen as the controller, the dictator, and I do not want that. I don't want to be seen like that, I don't want to think like that, I don't want to be that. So that's kind of relating back to the identity of who I want to become. Remember, I said more of like a calm parent, a calm mom. All I can think of when I say that is Mean Girls and she's, when the mom's like, “I'm a cool mom!” Anyway, so trying to think about the cost that speeding up is taking on my energy, on my relationships, all of that. Also, it backfires. So sometimes when we are trying to do things so quickly, when we're in a hurry to do things so fast, it actually can take us longer. And this is a really silly, stupid example, but it comes up for me every week. Basically, this is one way it shows up for me when I go grocery shopping, at the end you get home you've got all the bags. For whatever reason and I know some of you listening can relate I have the natural tendency to sit there as I'm getting out of the car and grab as many bags as I can and try and get them all in in one trip, which is ridiculous and looks ridiculous and doesn't always work. And what happens is I think about this all the time. What happens usually is that I actually spend more time trying to pick up all the bags in one shot than I would if I had just made two trips. So it's a silly example, but it's a simple example and that shows up in so many ways and in so many bigger ways that it's really, I think, a cost to me.
So I see this in private practice owners. Here's how this might show up for you. Maybe you're in such a rush to get more clients that you are taking on any client you can. Any client who comes through your door who calls right, yes, yes, yes. And in the beginning, that might actually be beneficial. I think there's a lot of benefit to doing that. If you're a new private practice owner or a new SLP and you're working to figure out what your identity is, what kind of a practice you want, there's benefits to that. You're going to learn really quickly. You're going to get a lot of experience. However, sometimes, if you're doing it just to speed up, to hit a goal faster, sometimes what happens is you wind up, like in this example maybe you're winding up taking on clients that are not the right fit and then you've got less space in your schedule for clients who are the right fit and so it takes you longer to get to that practice that you want to have, meaning that practice where you're serving your ideal clients, the clients that are the best fit for you, that you absolutely love. So that's one example of what it might look like for you. Maybe in…I'm trying to think of what else…maybe you are trying to get a hold of your time management and maybe you're trying to be more productive. You're like, “Okay, I'm going to get more things done every day.” But in your effort to do that, to accomplish more, maybe, you're wasting time on things that don't actually matter, things that aren't actually moving the needle, so you aren't any closer to the goals that you want to reach, because you're working on the wrong things. You're just trying to move faster, get more done, but you're not actually getting the right things done. I want to slow down and allow myself more breaks. Prioritize sleep, prioritize rest, really just stop rushing through everything in an attempt to get to a destination faster, because what happens—like I said, what happens is I just wind up, maybe getting to the wrong place or burning out quicker, and this is really tricky for me because it's it goes against my nature. I have a lot of energy, I like to move fast. I get restless when I'm slowing down, and so I really need to look at that like why is that? Why does that happen to me, and how can pausing and slowing down actually let me focus on more of the things that matter and get me closer to the goals that I have.
I just started reading a book. Oh my gosh, I'm blanking on the name of it, the exact name of it. What is the book? This is terrible. Slowing Down to the Speed of Life and it's very much about this concept. Actually, I've had it in my nightstand for probably several years and started it, never, never got very far, put it down, and so now I've picked it back up and I'm actually reading it, highlighting it, taking notes, and I think this book will be a really good one for me and I think it would be a great one for you. I'm a few chapters in and I think it'd be a great one for you if, if what I'm talking about resonates with you, if you find yourself, you know, in a rush, trying to get more done, rush, rush, rush, go, go, go. If that's your natural energy and it's not working for you, you're looking to make a shift, that book might be a great place to start.
Okay, so, to summarize the three things that I'm trying this year: adopting the identity of who I want to become, doing more journaling and manifesting about who I want to become, and slowing down to speed up. So my questions for you are what are you willing to try in 2024? What is it that you are going to do differently this year? No matter what point of year, it is that you're listening right, every day is a new shot. So what is it that you want to do differently this year? And then I would invite you to come join the SLP Support Group on Facebook. It's a free Facebook group. If you're not in it, come join and share in the group. Share with us what it—what is it that you're trying to do? What is it that you want to accomplish? What is it that you are doing differently this year? And just being in that group, being around like-minded people, being around other people who are focused on self-development, self-growth, personal growth all of that is going to help you get to where you want to be quicker but, more importantly, in a way that feels good. So come join us in the group, check it out. We would love to have you if you're not in there yet. I am wishing you all a wonderful new year and I will talk to you all next week.
*Please note that this transcript was generated by AI and may contain errors.